I discussed this with quite a few people today, and decided that I needed to publicize it so that I wouldn't have to keep repeating the story. So this is how it goes down:
Dear Lexy, I love you. You make me a little bit angry though. Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time, there was this girl, lets call her Maddy for kicks. Well, Maddy has this GREAT idea that she's like the little old lady that made Stinky Cheese Man. She was lonely, and thought she would make something to help her not be so lonely. So, Maddy and Drew go to Furburbia, pick out the cutiest little cat they can find. Maddy, with her big blue puppy dog eyes begs Drew for this little kitty deemed 'Lexy'. Drew concedes, they pay the adoption fee, and take the little cat home.
Not 72 hours into this adventure, Maddy confesses to Drew that she has made a terrible mistake. She can't seem to be responsible for a plant, let alone a cat! Drew says to her, 'Don't you worry, it won't be that hard. Cats are good at taking care of themselves.' So time goes on. Maddy takes the cat to the vet once in a great while, but frequently visits the cat groomers because Lexy's hair is just too much to manage.
Four years into owning this precious little Lexy, Maddy is laying with her and realizes that Lexy can't breathe so great. Maddy calls up the vet, panicked, wondering what could be wrong. Thankfully, someone is still there, since by now it's almost closing time. The doctor runs some diagnostics, realizes that Lexy is going to die, and suggests they take her to the overnight, emergency care clinic in North Salem. Drew and Maddy say their goodbyes, and leave her there. Torn to pieces, Maddy finally gets to sleep that night, anxious to pick up her cat in the morning. Maddy then rushes Lexy back up the the vet clinic to run further diagnostics on why her cat is having problems.
After two weeks of tests, possible surgery options that were thankfully never needed, Lexy remained stable and started to gain weight. The real problem was then determined to be a hyperthyroid that had gotten out of control.
Every six months, Maddy would take her cute little cat into the vet clinic for her check-up to make sure her thyroid was accepting the correct amount of medication. Maddy was getting a bit frustrated with the amount of medicine she was having to give her cat. Medicating oneself, let alone an animal twice a day was hard work, and a lot of stress for Maddy if she ever wanted to leave for more than a day.
Then today, Maddy knew that Lexy needed to go to the vet. Maddy was prepared for the visit. She knew it was going to be expensive, but had forgotten how expensive it would be. She forgot that Lexy's Annual physical exam would be $46.00. Maddy forgot that her complete blood count would be $52.75. Maddy forgot that Lexy's Chemistry Profile with T4 (for the thyroid) would cost $125.70. Maddy also forgot that Lexy got to pee in a cup for $47.15. She ALSO forgot that her rabies vaccine was due for $15.65. Finally, Maddy realized that since she was at the vet, it would probably be a good time to also pick up Lexy's medication, so it saved a trip in the future. This also amounted to $32.55. The kind vet's office took off $28.73 or 10% as a courtesy, and a "wellness" thank you.
This threw Maddy into a bit of a tizzy. Maddy joked with the vet clinic about how she might have to give up her first born to pay for Lexy. Maddy also discussed the possibility of writing Lexy off on her taxes in some way.
But Maddy kept thinking, 'I'm damned if I do, I'm damned if I don't.' If Maddy doesn't take Lexy to the vet, she can't get her medicine, if she can't get her medicine, she will die a long and painful death. If Maddy takes her into the vet and tell them to kill her cat, she becomes a murderer of a perfectly healthy cat (as long as she's on medication). She can't win.
So I tell you this. Maddy will never have a pet again unless she is financially stable. Maddy will not kill her cat, but will sit and think about the beautiful kitchen table she forgoes to take care of her cat and keep her healthy. Maddy will be hoping that some day, in heaven, Lexy will find her and thank her for caring so much about her, and for wanting to have as long and happy of a life as cattily possible.
I sure love you LexyLoo, but man, you are expensive.
P.S. Wednesday update. Maddy gets a call from the vet to change her thyroid medication. Fine, she thought. Then the vet proceeded to tell Maddy that LexyLoo had a UTI. FREAK! How do cat's get Urinary Tract Infections? So Maddy politely asks the vet, "What could I have done to prevent this?" - thinking in her head, more frequent litter box cleaning?, regular bath intervals?...The vet then tells Maddy, "Nothing. It comes with old age. So we would like to put her on antibiotics, and then get her retested once the medicine is finished to make sure it has gone away. She is also a bit anemic, and we would like to test these levels to see if it was just related to the UTI symptoms." Maddy politely asks, "So, this is going to cost me another $47.15 for another test?" The vet then harshly comments, "It's only the test, we won't be charging you for the office visit." ....as if this was a HUGE discounted price. Maddy then succinctly says thank you, says she will be in to get the medicine later in the day, and hangs up.
Maddy goes into Salem to pick up the medication, and proceeds to tell Drew that he must go get it, since Maddy is upset. Drew gets back in the car, and Maddy asks him how much it cost...thinking it wouldn't be more than $20, since antibiotics for humans really aren't more than that. Drew grins and says, "Forty dollars."
Forty DOLLARS!?! FOR ANTIBIOTICS>?! Maddy then says, why couldn't I have just given her cranberry juice? Drew ponders...would she drink it? Maddy rudely states, "no....that's why."
Gah. So in the end, I think we're done. I think we're going to change vets to one near our house, and tell them we have a spending limit=$0.00. That we are no longer going to do testing, that we're happy to give her, her thyroid medication, but that we will no longer be doing the full panel testing.
Such is life. It's a good think Lexy is stinkin cute!