Saturday, October 9, 2010


I had a rude comment made toward me in a joking fashion this afternoon.  I wasn't expecting it, and it caught me off guard.  It got played off "nicely" but it was still there, left untouched, and unsolved.  I didn't know what do.  Here we are 8 hours later and I'm still a bit upset about it.  I talked to Drew about it to try to figure out what to do.  It boiled down to choices.

I made a choice to go to college, get married at 20, buy a condo early, work my butt off, try to be a good person, etc.  These were my choices to make.  I chose to go to grad school, rack up a ridiculous amount of debt, buy another condo to later find out it was a bit of a mistake.  That's was my choice. I made the choice to continue working while having a baby. It was my choice to continue to work hard for what I want.

I spent 18 hours over 2 days listening to speakers try to give up insight, helpful hints, motivation and encouragement to become better teachers.  Some of those speakers could have talked to anyone about anything and it would have pertained to their lives.  One gentlemen in particular spoke about attitude.  Your attitude it what is ultimately what people remember.  One of the points he made was (not quoted directly, but hacked by me)- 'What are you going to do, to see the change you want?' -  ultimately, if you want something bad enough, and you work at it, you'll get it, but if you freeload,and expect it to come TO you, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

That thought struck a very deep emotional cord in my personal belief system.  Though I struggle with depression, I am still very aware that I have a pretty good life.  If I ever complain about having a "rough life" please smack me..because it ultimately boils down to- these are the choices I've made to this point to get the results I feel I deserve.  Do I feel like there's more do to? Absolutely!!  Do I feel like there's things I could have changed? Without a doubt.

Sometimes (often) I have the grass is greener syndrome.  I think it runs in my family.  Things aren't talked about much when it comes to it, but I feel is lingers.  What I have to remind myself though, is that we have all made our choices.  If we want different results, you need to change the way you do things.

Alright, enough of my rant. I have cute pictures to share.

What a little helper! Unwrapping all the toilet paper! It's a hard job, but she'll do it!

hat party!

I just like that look

Ellie has decided she can climb things, but still lacks some serious skill.  She was so proud of herself for getting on the upside down container

cheeese! (nevermind the milk + chocolate mouth - lol)

cute pouty face

playing lions- she hops it along the table and growls!


Mama Nirvana said...

What did they say, Maddy? Was it about working instead of staying home? It is so hard to be hurt and not have things resolved -- I have definitely been there. Good for you for being the bigger person.


Michele said...

What was the rude comment?
To hell with everyone else - You have made a great life for your self.
I love the blue and purple outfit.